Now I know that my normal posts for Fridays are fitness related, and I had another idea for a blog post but sometimes you just need do what comes to your mind instead. So I want to take this opportunity to sit and just reflect on my life this past year.
I would have to say that the first 6 months of 2017 were a little hit or miss for me. However, I will say that honestly the last 6 months of this year have been the best months I’ve had in years. But we’ll get to that in a minute.
I went into 2017 honestly in a really bad place. So let’s start there. Towards the end of 2016 and the beginning of 2017 I had a lot of personal things going on in my life. Halloween of 2016 my grandma on my moms side passed away. Now without going into too much detail (so please don’t ask because I would rather not say), we were not informed that my grandma had passed away until the day of her funeral…which we were unable to attend. For personal reasons I don’t want to go into the nitty gritty of it all. But what I will say is that my grandma did have Alzheimer’s and the family member that was “taking care of her” we have not spoken to in years. Unfortunately that meant that we were not able to speak to my grandma. My grandma and I were very close. We went shopping together, I would spend the night at her house and we would stay up way too late eating popcorn and copious amounts of junk food and watching Lifetime movies or Food Network. I loved every moment that I got to spend with her. I cherish those memories more than anything in the world. Do I miss her? Of course I do. Every single day. It never gets easier. Do I wish that I would’ve been able to be around her when she was going through such a tough time? I do. That is honestly my biggest regret, but it wasn’t my fault, we tried we really did. I just hope that she knows how much I love her and how much I miss her and that I wish things could’ve been different. I will be honest and tell you that this hit me very hard. I immediately felt my whole world shift and it wasn’t in a good way. I was sad and angry at the world and to be completely honest I felt like I was a different person.
Not too long after my grandma passed away, we found out that one of our really good family friends (I called him Uncle Budd), was diagnosed with cancer. He tried treatment but it just didn’t cut it. He lost his battle with cancer in February of 2017. Uncle Budd and I had a very special relationship and I loved him like he was my real uncle. He was the best Uncle Budd that a girl could ask for and no one can replace him. To make it even worse, his girlfriend was pregnant when we lost him and though we were all very excited for the baby….it was hard to stay excited when the babies dad would never get to meet her.
Fast forward a little bit to March, Uncle Budd’s girlfriend is about a month away from having her baby girl, we are all so excited and getting things ready for the baby shower. Then she lost the baby. The sadness and the anger that I felt when I found out….was unmeasurable. Between losing my grandma and then Uncle Budd…now the baby…I was done. I was angry at the world and I was angry at God….yupp I said it. I was angry at God. I had 3 very important people in my life taken away from my in a very short period of time….I didn’t know how else to feel.
My anger didn’t last very long, but I will say that the sadness lingered for a very long time. It was starting to make other areas of my life a little less enjoyable. So much to the point that my health and fitness were suffering.
I know I’ve talked about this before but guys I can promise you that without The Shift Shop, I would not be in the healthy headspace that I am right now. I’ve told my parents this a few times, but if I hadn’t done the Shift Shop program when I did…if Danielle hadn’t mentioned it to me when she did, I was going to need therapy. That’s how bad it was. I was ready to go and talk to someone just to feel better because I didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling. But this program…they’re not joking when they say that it gives you both a physical and a mental shift because it did! You can see my full transformation and hear more about the program in my blog post about it… 42 days, 6 weeks, 1 program)
After I completed the program I was a completely different person…I was me again! Did I still feel sad sometimes? Yeah I sure did, but I could handle it a little bit better. I wasn’t letting it consume me anymore. That was a huge thing for me and I am forever thankful for that program.
Shortly after I completed that program this amazing guy came into my life…or should I say he came back into my life. I’ve known this guy since we were 5 years old. We went to elementary, middle and high school together. I can honestly say that receiving that Facebook message from him and answering it was the best thing that has happened to me this year. I have loved getting to know him better and spending time with him and I am so glad that I get to call him my boyfriend. The time that has passed since he has come into my life has went by so quickly let so slow all at the same time and for the first time in a long time I feel genuinely happy. He is beyond the perfect boyfriend and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store for us!
Overall even though there were mostly crappy times in 2017…I would have to say that 2017 was my year. It was a year or learning and a year of growth and through those lessens learned and the growing I was able to open my heart and God finally answered a prayer that I have been praying for a few years now. He brought a guy into my life who loves me for who I really am and doesn’t make me feel afraid to be authentically me. He is nothing but supportive of everything that I do and so very encouraging and motivating. He genuinely cares about me and the things that I do day in and day out, and I couldn’t ask for better. So God, thank you for answering that prayer and bringing me the best boyfriend a girl could ask for!
Okay, okay moving on, so like I said even though you’re probably looking at everything that happened in 2017 and thinking that it wasn’t a good year, I think it was. Why? Because I am choosing to focus on the positive things that happened in my life this year, instead of just the negative ones.
I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store for me! Here’s to another great year! I’ll talk to you next year loves!